When it All falls down
by whiters
Summary: Just like dominos, if one falls down they all fall down. Takes place at the end of season 3. Brucas & Brooke centric Please, Please R
1. One big blur

_**Hello everybody! Thanks for checking out this new story, I hope you enjoy it. It takes place after the second Naley wedding, but I have changed some things. You'll see as you go along, and I will try to make you aware of them as well. It is Brooke centric, but everybody has a part in it. Ok, I think we're ready…**_

_**Whit**_

_**Xxxxxxxx**_

Ch.1 One Big Blur

It had been seven days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, and 604,800 seconds. Ok, maybe not down to the exact second, but pretty damn close. It had been one week and Nathan still had not woken up yet. The events leading up to it was very vivid in Brooke's mind, but everything since then seemed to be a blur. Nathan and Haley were supposed to be on a honeymoon not in a hospital. Brooke looked over at a very tired Haley. She would only leave the hospital to go home, shower, and take a brief nap. Brooke reached over and began to rub Haley's back whose head fell onto Brooke's shoulder, her eyes falling shut as well.

Moments like this, when it was eerily quiet, Brooke's mind would wander back to that day. In the middle of Nathan and Haley's reception it began to rain, and by the time they left it was coming down fairly hard. Of course Brooke wasn't there when the accident happened but Haley had told her of it enough times that she had a good picture in her head of what went down.

Nathan and Haley were not even five minutes gone when it happened. The rain was falling so hard it was difficult to see out the window. Before either of them knew it there was a car coming towards them. Nathan swerved to miss it but that only sent them spinning. The other car lost control as well and hit Nathan and Haley on the driver's side. It knocked both of them out but Nathan got the worst of it. And now here they were, waiting for Nathan to get better. Each day crept by slowly and most of what happened was a blur.

_**x-------**_

"_Brooke, I'm sorry about the kiss. I shouldn't have kept it from you." Lucas pleaded from behind. _

_Brooke was facing the wall, hands clasped to one of the tables. A storm of lies, deceit, betrayal, and hurt were running through her body. She wanted to cry; fall into his arms and break down. She also wanted to hit him, or her, or even just a punching bag. She was mad, but not just at them, at herself as well. Was she not good enough? Was she not there for either of them when they needed her? This was a whole new set of events thrown at her feet. Brooke straightened her posture and turned to face a sad, guilty, somewhat hurt looking Lucas. _

_Lucas stared at her, eyebrows scrunched together, head tilted. She loved that look; she knew that look. He reached out with his arms and rubbed her elbows. _

"_I know sorry won't cut it this time. I should have told you about it…"_

"_Hold that thought, I'll be back." Brooke interrupted and ran out of the back room, back into the reception area. _

_She didn't have to stop to look around. She knew where Peyton was; dancing with Cooper, looking like she was on top of the world. Brooke knew that feeling, and it was definitely not something she had felt in the past twenty-four hours. _

_She gently linked her left hand with Peyton's, "Can I cut in Coop?" Brooke joked. _

_Cooper laughed and nodded. Brooke, as nonchalantly as possible, lead Peyton outside, letting go of her hand half way. _

"_You kissed him?" Brooke yelled._

"_What…"_

"_Nope, you don't get to pull that 'I'm Peyton, I don't know what's going on' bullshit with me. Not right now. Tell me why you kissed him."_

_With a look of defeat Peyton nodded her head, "I had just been shot Brooke. I thought I was going to die…"_

"_Ok, I understand that Peyton but what possessed you to kiss him. There, at that moment? Did you have feelings for him then?" Brooke managed to ask, while holding back tears. _

_Peyton wasn't sure how to answer, and Brooke could see that. Her and Peyton had been friends for years, and Brooke knew Peyton's looks. _

_What do you do when your "best friend" falls in love with your boyfriend? Twice? Brooke cared about Peyton, loved her as a sister. But at that moment Brooke didn't see the Peyton she knew, this was a new Peyton and that frightened Brooke._

"_I just need to know. How did it happen. Were you in such a daze that you just leaned in. I mean just tell me Peyton. You wanted to be honest." Brooke demanded more than asked. _

_Still, Peyton didn't answer. Brooke watched as her head sank low and she shook it while wiping away tears. Brooke wanted a clear cut answer, but she figured this might be all she got. For now anyway. _

"_Pretty girl?" Lucas' voice carried out into Brooke's head. _

_Brooke went to wipe away her tears but realized it would be useless. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Lucas stepped outside. The same perturbed look was on his face._

"_Ummm…they're ready for our toasts." Lucas stammerd, "but, if you guys are busy…"_

"_No. I think we're all done here." _

_She didn't give Peyton another look. Instead she walked by Lucas, gave his arm a squeeze and walked back into the reception. _

_**x-----**_

As Brooke sat there stroking Haley's hair she thought about how much she cared about Haley and Nathan. It scared her to think about. When did she start loving and worrying so much about these people? The only person she could ever remember feeling this way about was…Peyton.

_**Xxxxxxx**_

I hope you enjoyed it! Regardless, **_please,please_** leave a review. Let me know how you felt and what you hope happens. Thanks a bunch!


	2. Unnerving Air

**Hey everybody! Thanks for those of you who reviewed. I'll admit I was hoping for more but I appreciate the ones I got. F.Y.I. this is Brooke centric but it won't always be coming from her point of view, most of the time it will but there are other times when I need Lucas' or Haley's etc. points of view. Here's another chapter and I hope you enjoy it.**

_**Whit**_

_**x-----**_

**Ch.2 Unnerving air**

"Remember that timeafter I moved in with you and I was sitting on my bed playing my guitar and you started making fun of me?" Haley asked while her head rested on Brooke's shoulder.

Brooke started laughing remembering that time. "Totally!" Haley joined in with Brooke's laughter and for a moment the hospital didn't exist. "I was only making fun of you because you started playing that tune from…what song was it anyway?" Brooke asked as she looked over at Haley who was in fits.

Haley turned over to Brooke and they both stopped laughing, trying to remember what song it was. Their mouths were gaped open and their eyes were scrunched together. After a moment Brooke started giggling again.

"It was so funny though…because you…you didn't even…" Brooke tried to get it all out but was laughing so hard that she found it almost impossible. "…didn't even realize what you…you were playing until I…" Brooke said as she pointed to herself, "…I pointed it out to you." Brooke said as she got one long laugh out.

Haley slapped Brooke on the arm as she started laughing hysterically as well. Haley was laughing so hard she began to cry. "There I was going through a rough time and you…" Haley remarked as she pushed Brooke, "…you made fun of me. Some best friend."

"Haley, that's what best friends are for." Brooke replied as they both began to come down from their laughing high.

That was the first time all week that Brooke had seen Haley laugh. It was the first time they had laughed together in awhile. As the laughing died down the sun came blinding down on the hospital through the vaulted window in the ceiling. It's rays spread out through the room, glaring as they bounced off of mirrors. One would not think of, from a distance, this as being a place of mourning, of waiting, of escaped sighs.

Brooke noticed Haley's face was no longer bright and happy, but scared and sad. Tears began to slowly trickle down Haley's face.

"I can't do this Brooke." Haley muffled through her hands.

Brooke grabbed Haley's arms and jerked Haley towards her. "Yes you can Haley. Yes, you can."

Haley shook her head.

"You will get through this. We'll get through this. Together. I'm here for you Haley and we'll do this together." Brooke asserted forcefully. "I know you've been through some rough shit this past week, and everybody is going to help you get through it. But you can't give up on me tutor wife. You aren't allowed to."

Haley looked up at Brooke, slowly nodded her head and mouthed an "ok". Immediately Brooke pulled her into a hug, holding onto her tight. The two sat like that for a while, holding on to not just each other but hope as well.

_**Xxxx**_

A week of uncertainty is unnerving. When all doctors can do is give you updates that don't really change and hope that probably doesn't exist, it becomes hard to believe things will be ok, even if you really want to. The saying goes that when it rains it pours. Of all the things Brooke had heard over her life, that one was the one that proved to be true every time.

Brooke was shaken out of her thoughts as Haley stirred in her sleep. She was next to Brooke on the couch, curled in a ball. Brooke stroked strands of hair out of Haley's face, revealing the few tears that had escaped during her sleep.

"Hey you." A voice whispered from behind, causing Brooke to jump in her seat.

Brooke didn't have to turn to know who the voice belonged to. And as the figure came around the couch, Lucas came in to full view.

Brooke tipped her head and gave a small smile, "Hey." She whispered back.

Lucas sat down next to Brooke whilst wrapping an arm around her. There was no need to ask for updates. If there were any Brooke would have called and they both knew that. Nathan was in a coma and all they could do was hope he got better. There was that word again: hope.

As they talked about the day, and Brooke told Lucas about Haley laughing, things felt normal. As normal as they could anyway.

Soon, the unnerving air began to settle once again. Most of the days were spent like this: sitting and waiting. Occasionally going to the cafeteria to eat. Lucas looked over at Brooke, who looked tired. He wished he could do something to help, anything that would make her or Haley feel better. He felt so detached from both of them, especially Brooke. As Brooke laid her head on his shoulder Lucas thought back to Nathan and Haley's wedding.

_"Peyton, we need to talk." Lucas said as he walked up to her at the snack table. _

_The toasts had just been given and Nathan and Haley were about to leave. _

_Peyton smile and nodded, swallowing a mouth full of food. "Can it wait a sec Luke, I don't want to miss Nathan and Haley leaving."_

_"I talked to em', they won't be leaving for a few minutes. Besides, it won't take long." Lucas responded. _

_Peyton shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head, "Ok, what's up?" She licked her fingers and stuffed another tart in her mouth. _

_"Actually, could we go outside?"_

_Peyton looked at Lucas curiously. Naturally, she wondered why he wanted to talk but she wasn't about to turn him down. She nodded her head and he led the way. _

_"That was such a great wedding." Peyton said as they stepped outside._

_It was starting to rain, but not hard. The dark clouds were gathering above, threatening to block out the sun. The beautiful day that once was no longer existed. _

_"Yeah, it was nice." Lucas replied. _

_He had a serious look on his face, the one where he looked sadder than anything else. The broody look. It was never a good look to see on Lucas' face, especially if he wanted to talk. _

_"So, what's up Luke?" Peyton asked as nonchalantly as possible. _

_"Is what Brooke said true?"_

_Peyton shook her head in confusion. _

_"I overheard, or eavesdropped if you will, Brooke talking to you before we gave our toasts. Do you have feelings for me?"_

_Peyton was blindsided. Out of all things he wanted to talk about Peyton hadn't even thought about this. Dumbstruck, she couldn't even answer him. Instead, she just nodded, not able to look him in the face._

_Lucas sighed, "And did you feel this way when you kissed me in the library?"_

_"I dunno Luke. Maybe." Peyton twisted her arms out of nervousness. _

_Frustrated, Lucas began to pace._

_"Please don't be mad at me Luke." Peyton began to plead while tears formed in her eyes. When Lucas didn't respond Peyton continued, "I didn't plan it this way Luke, it's just…I wanted to be honest with Brooke. I have no intention on following through on these feelings…"_

_"You shouldn't have them in the first place." Lucas interrupted almost at a whisper.  
Shocked, Peyton didn't even bother to finish her sentence. _

_"This isn't fair to Brooke…." Lucas motioned between Peyton and himself, "she has enough trust issues as it is." Still pacing Lucas headed towards the door, "I think we should spend less time together, at least until Brooke and I can…can fix **us**." With that Lucas went inside. _

Lucas looked over at Brooke; they hadn't had a chance to talk much this week. It had been such a disaster that Brooke just wanted to forget about her birthday all together. But Lucas knew he had to do something for her so he, along with Mouth and Rachel, convinced her to leave Haley's side for a few hours. They took a walk down to the beach and walked along it for a while. Then he took her back to Rachel's, where she was now staying, and they had dinner there. Rachel happily agreed to stay out late. They ended up staying the night there, and shared a few laughs. Lucas hoped that it was a good birthday for her.

"Whatcha thinking bout'?" Brooke asked, in a somewhat perky voice.

Lucas looked over at her and tossed her hair around. "You." He replied simply.

Brooke playfully hit him in the chest, "Be serious Lucas."

"I am pretty girl…I was thinking about your birthday. Please tell me it didn't suck."

"It didn't completely suck." Brooke answered.

Lucas rolled his eyes, "Oh thanks. As long as it only sort of sucked."

"Will you two please stop saying sucked'." Haley retorted as she sat up on the couch.

"Tell Lucas that, he's the one who's obsessed with it." Brooke laughed.

Lucas jokingly put his hand over Brooke's mouth and greeted Haley, "Hey Hales, how ya doing?"

"I'm ok. Hungry." Haley answered while rubbing her belly.

"Mmoo git so foo." Brooke muffled under Lucas' hand.

Haley and Lucas started laughing. They both made muffled sounds, imitating Brooke.

Brooke pried Lucas' hand off her mouth and rolled her eyes, "I said let's go get some food."

"Good idea…I think tonight they're serving turkey dinner." Haley replied.

"Well, let's go get it before it's gone." Brooke said as she grabbed Haley and Lucas' hands and pulled them up. "I love turkey."

_**x------**_

**Please, please, please leave a review. I love em'. I enjoyed writing this chapter, so I really hope you enjoyed reading it. Either way please leave a review. Thanks**


	3. Run In

_**Thanks to all of you for your reviews, they mean the world to me. Anna mentioned that she was hoping there would be more Nathan in here. And it makes sense, so I'm gonna do that but still try to make the story Brooke centric. Let me know what ya think. Enjoy!**_

_**Whit**_

_**Xxxx**_

**Ch.3 Run In**

Empty.

Such an ugly, depressing adjective yet Brooke, and the others, were using it often this week. They were all empty: out of energy, willfulness, carefree attitudes, and low on hope. And then there was Haley, whom felt empty without Nathan up and by her side. No early morning practices or late night binges. No sweaty clothes flung about the apartment or towels on the bathroom floor. The apartment felt just as empty.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Scott?"

The doctor had approached them without Brooke even noticing. She looked over at Haley whose tired head rose to look at the doctor. Dr. Phillips was his name. He was a man of about thirty-two (Brooke swore doctors were getting younger and younger these days), tall, green eyes, gorgeous dirty blonde hair…_what am I doing? Fantasizing about the Doctor?_ Brooke shook out of her thoughts and noticed Haley was following the doctor towards Nathan's room. Immediately Brooke followed, worried her friend would need her if there were any bad news.

Haley nodded her head and walked into Nathan's room. It was covered with flowers, balloons and "get well" cards. Even with all that the room still felt cold. Lifeless. Tears burned in her eyes as she walked to Nathan's bed. Dr. Phillips informed her that they were seeing an improvement in Nathan's heart and lungs. He was healing up nicely but that did not mean he would come out of the coma. Even if he did there was no guarantee on how he would turn out. But he was getting better. Haley had to hold onto that and believe that it meant something. That there was hope.

"Hey baby," Haley whispered as she grabbed Nathan's hand, "Dr. Phillips says you're getting better but you have to wake up for me, K?" Haley clasped his hands with hers and bit back on her lip as tears fell from her eyes. "Besides, there's so much you're missing…I don't know if I can handle these people without you." She laughed, hoping he could hear her.

From her position outside the room Brooke laughed with her. It was true, a lot was happening. She hoped she wasn't overwhelming Haley with any of it. She watched as Haley held onto Nathan, whispering something she could not hear. His face was still beaten up and his leg was still in a cast. But he was getting better and Brooke could see that. Brooke figured that if she kept thinking good thoughts about Nathan and his healing process that maybe the universe would pick up on that he would get better some how. It was a long shot but Brooke had heard people who believed that we send some sort of "vibe" out into the world and that "vibe" would have some sort of effect.

As Brooke thought about that she laughed. She could picture herself in Naley's apartment standing in front of everybody and proclaiming that they needed to send out good "vibes" into the world. That, that would help Nathan get better. The truth was that some things happened that were out of our control. Just because you were the "good guy" didn't mean good things would happen to you. Karma was a bitch. Mainly for the fact that, in Brooke's mind, it didn't exist. There were no laws or rules of the universe that said: good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. Shit happened and, it sucked, but you had to deal with it. It wasn't fair that this was happening to Nathan. But life wasn't fair.

Knowing that Haley would be fine for now, Brooke decided to head to the cafeteria and give Lucas a call. He had to leave for a while because he was helping Karen out at the Café.

On her way down the hall Brooke noticed a boy and a girl playing. The boy was chasing after the girl while making monster noises. They reminded her of a time just a couple of years ago.

_Nathan and Peyton had only been going out a few months and, as per usual, they were having a party at the beach house while Dan and Deb were gone doing god knows what. The party had escalated out onto the beach and someone had started a water fight. While Brooke and Peyton stared on, they hadn't noticed Nathan creep up behind them. _

"_So, ya gonna get some tonight, blondie?" Brooke asked as she gulped down the rest of her beer. _

_Peyton just laughed as she shook her head._

_Just then Nathan poured a bucket of water over Brooke's head._

_**Swoosh. Splash.**_

_Brooke dropped her beer and just stood there for a moment, processing what had just happened. _

_Nathan was hysterical by this point and Peyton was covering her mouth as laughs stifled out from underneath them. _

"_I cannot believe you just did that, you ass." Brooke scoffed at Nathan. _

"_Ohh…hehehaha…sorry Brooke but I couldn't resist." Still laughing hysterically Nathan wiped tears away from his eyes. "And I couldn't do it to Peyton. I mean I do wanna get some tonight." He added. _

"_I swear to God Scott. You are so dead." Brooke threatened. _

_Nathan kept laughing as Brooke plunged at him. Taking him down to the ground, only because he didn't see it coming, Brooke began to tickle him. Nathan struggled to get her off of him but not before Brooke could stick her wet finger in his ear. _

"_Ewwww… Brooke, that was disgusting." _

_Brooke just giggled._

_Finally, Nathan was able to grab Brooke's sides and tickle her forcefully. Brooke lost any control she had and fell to the side of Nathan. He stood up, proud of what he had accomplished. But Brooke quickly got up and Nathan and her just stared at each other. It was like they were in a western, waiting to make their draws. Just then Brooke thought of a way to distract Nathan._

"_Oh, hello Mrs. Scott." Brooke said while looking over Nathan's shoulder. _

_Immediately Nathan looked behind him only to be knocked over once again by Brooke._

"_Nathan, you are so guilable."_

_Without a response Nathan went after her. Brooke shrieked and ran away, down the beach._

It made Brooke so happy that she had those memories with Nathan. She cherished them and always thought of Nathan as a bigger brother.

Because Brooke was paying attention to the children instead of where she was going she ran into someone, both of them spilling contents they were holding everywhere.

"Shit." Brooke cursed to herself. "I'm so sorry I wasn't paying…"

Brooke stopped herself when she saw who she had run into.

"Oh, Peyton."

Peyton looked over at Brooke and stood up.

"Hey." Peyton got out. "I was just going to visit Nathan."

Brooke just nodded. _Well duh. Who else would you see here?_

For a moment they just stood there. Peyton had plenty to say, in fact she had been practicing all week, but all of a sudden she couldn't find the words. Brooke didn't have anything to say so she brushed past Peyton and began to walk away.

"Brooke." Peyton finally blurted out.

Brooke stopped walking and let Peyton continue. She did not however turn around.

"How are _you_ doing? I know this must be hard for you. You're here almost as often as Haley is." Peyton tried to find some way to get Brooke to talk to her.

To an amazed Peyton Brooke replied, "Yeah, and to top it off I have to deal with my backstabbing ex-best-friend." She didn't said it coldly, just matter-of-factly.

Unfortunately it was not the reply Peyton was hoping for.

**x—x—x **

After what seemed like forever Brooke made it to the cafeteria. She bought a large Dr. Pepper and took a seat at one of the tables. That had been her first run in with Peyton when no one else was around. To be honest, she had been avoiding Peyton like the plague. She needed to talk to Lucas, to hear his voice. Brooke pulled out her cell and dialed the all too familiar number.

When Lucas didn't answer and it went straight to voicemail Brooke debated on whether or not to leave a message. She decided for it.

(Lucas' voicemail) _"Hey you've reached Luke. I can't pick up right now, so leave a message."_

"Hey baby, it's your pretty girl. I just called to say I miss you and that Nathan's getting a little better. Nothing big, but I thought you should know anyway. Well,… call me. I love you."

She shut her cell and breathed in deeply before she put it back in her purse. She needed a moment to herself, however long it would take her to finish the Dr. Pepper, and after that she would go back to Haley.

**Xxxxxx**

I hope you all liked it! For some reason I had writers block with this chapter, but I feel like I finished it up nicely. So, review and let me know what _you_ think. Remember, it's only 20 seconds of your life. Thanks.


	4. Crying in corners

Hello! Here is the next chapter! I have been thinking long and hard about where I'm taking this story. I'm really excited about it! Enjoy!

_Whit_

_Xxx_

**Chap. 4 Crying in Corners**

In tragic and dire situations we hold up front, find courage where we thought there was none and suppress any emotions that threaten to come in the way. Some of us become so good at it that we end up fooling ourselves. We forget how fragile we really are, how that situation has completely torn us apart inside. Inevitably there will come a moment when all that pain, suffering, sadness and anger will shatter inside of you. A breakdown, if you will. Not that it's a bad thing. Not knowing when it will happen, that's the bad thing.

**Xxx**

Dan paced back and forth in the hall. His hair was disheveled, as were his jeans and t-shirt. For a man who never showed much compassion toward his son(s), he looked like a man who had lost it all. If you were a stranger to Tree Hill and its situations, you would see Dan as a loving, caring man.  
"Dan, would you please just sit down. You're making me more nervous than I already am." Deb said, clearly annoyed. She lifted her face up from her hands and rubbed her eyes.

"Well, where the hell is the Doctor? He said he would keep us informed and we haven't heard anything yet." Dan yelled.

Just as Dan was about to go yell at a nurse, Dr. Phillips approached Dan.

"Hello Mr. Scott. Mrs. Scott." Dr. Phillips greeted as he nodded his head towards Deb.

"Oh Doctor how great of you to come out here. I hope this isn't imposing on your sitting on your ass time." Dan barked sarcastically. The doctor was taken aback but before he could respond Dan continued on his rant. "And you know what… I'm Mayor Scott. And I would expect a little more out of our physicians in this town." As the words roared out of Dan's mouth he placed himself mere inches away from Dr. Phillips. His jaw was tight and his hand was placed before him, almost in a threatening manner.

"I do apologize, to both of you. I just escorted his wife in there and…"

"What the hell did you just say?" Dan yelled.

"The other Mrs. Scott, Haley, is in there…"

"We're his parents and yet you go tell her first." Dan commented.

For the first time since Dr. Phillips had come out, Deb spoke up. "Unfortunately I believe my ex has a point. I mean, we're his parents. He is our son. How could you not update us on his condition first?" Deb spoke quietly but with much fierce.  
"I mean no disrespect but Haley is his wife. And technically Nathan emancipated

himself last year. Therefore immediate information on him legally goes to his wife."

"I don't give a rats ass who it legally…" Dan began to spit out but was stopped by Deb.

"Give a rest Dan." Then she turned her attention to Dr. Phillips. "How is he?"

Dr. Phillips waited a moment before answering, in fear of another one of Dan's attacks. When it didn't happen he answered. "Nathan is healing up very nicely. We have seen a huge improvement in his heart and lungs, which is what worried me the most."

Both Dan and Deb were relieved to hear that. For a moment Dan's face lightened and Deb lightly put her hand on his shoulder.

"Unfortunately, we cannot predict if, or when, he will come out of his coma."

Dr. Phillips immediately snapped them out of their haze. "That is the awful thing about coma's; for the most part they are unpredictable. The body has more control then we would like it to have. We can fix Nathan up physically, but we cannot wake him up." He finished while rubbing his hands together sorrowfully.

Dan sat back down on one of the chairs and Deb's eyes filled with tears. Dr. Phillips just nodded his head, promised to update them and left.

Deb sat down next to Dan and mumbled something, but Dan wasn't listening. He immediately got up and walked away, leaving Deb to fend for herself. Dan followed the corridor to the elevators and opted to take the stairs instead. As he began to descend the stairs he almost lost his balance. His breathing became heavy and he reluctantly slid down to sit on the step. Crying had not been a Dan Scott characteristic. Yet, here he was. In a hospital. Crying.

**Xxxx**

So I know that was super short but the next ch. has so much in it that I knew it would be too much to put in with this chapter. I hope you liked it. Please let me know…click that review button!!!


	5. Crying in corners cont

_**I have been working on this chapter for awhile (mainly because my laptop hasn't been working and I've had to find other places to work) and I really hope it turned out good. Read on fanfic lovers, read on.**_

_**Whit**_

**Ch.5 Crying in Corners (cont.)**

_**Your subtleties  
They strangle me  
I can't explain myself at all.  
And all the wants  
And all the needs  
All I don't want to need at all.**_

Crouched up against his bed, with his knees pulled up to his chest, was Lucas Scott; sobbing. With his right hand he was clutching a picture of him and Nathan at Nathan and Haley's wedding, in his left, his heart. It was aching with a need to fill whole again, to feel better. Air was not reaching his lungs soon enough and he gasped for it as tears fell down his face. For a moment there was no sound at all, just his mouth opened and lips quivering. Then, suddenly, it let out in one big cry.

♪_She take my money, well I'm in need  
Yeah she's a triflin friend indeed  
Oh she's a gold digger way over town  
That dig's on me__  
__Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger (When I'm Need)  
But she ain't messin wit no broke niggaz_

_get down girl go head get down__♪_

Lucas jolted at the sound of Brooke's ring tone. He fumbled to find his phone and when he did, he had no energy to answer it. _You selfish son-of-a-bitch, _Lucas thought to himself. He had to laugh though, as the lyrics repeated themselves, back to the day when Brooke picked out this ring tone.

_"Luuukkee…you have to have a cool ring tone for me, I'm your girlfriend. It can't just be a run of the mill one, it has to be special." Brooke whined as she attempted to grab Lucas' phone from him. _

_Lucas just laughed as he put his cell way above his head. "What's wrong with the one you have now. It's perky and has a fast beat, it's just like you."_

_"Lucas, it's so…blah." Brooke exaggerated with her face and arms. "I need one that truly represents my colorful personality. And one that people would totally not expect to be on your phone."_

_"Kinda like us." Lucas commented._

_"Huh?" Brooke asked confused. _

_"People never expected us to be together and yet it fits somehow."_

_"And why is that, Lucas Scott?" Brooke asked as she approached him. _

_"Well…" Lucas began as he smiled and kinked his eyebrows, "…I'm just so damn adorable. I mean, how could you resist me."_

_"Bingo!" Brooke clapped her hands. "Which is why I must download a great ring tone; to match our unique relationship."_

_Brooke looked up at him with puppy dog eyes and put her hands out._

_"Fine, but I have to approve before you download it." Lucas told her as he set his cell in her hands. _

_"Sure." Brooke said, somewhat unconvincingly. _

_Brooke immediately began to look for the song she had already decided she was going to put on Lucas' cell. Lucas eyed her as she tapped away on the tiny buttons._

_"Whatcha doing?" Lucas inquired trying to get a peek._

_"Nothing." Brooke lied as she smiled seductively. She made her way over to him and snaked her arms around his neck. Slowly and gently, she kissed him. As they kissed Brooke pushed "purchased". _

_It wasn't until later that day, right after Brooke left to go meet Haley, that Lucas noticed. She called him about five minutes after she left. As soon as Kayne West's voice came blaring out, Lucas knew._

He would call her. And go to the hospital. But first he needed a hot shower. He immediately shed his clothes and let them fall where they did.

_**The walls start breathing  
My mind's unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.  
A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow.**_

Lucas turned the hot water on full blast and just barely turned on the cold water. He jumped in and hung his head under the beating jets of water. Turning around he grabbed the bar of soap and began to wash his worn down body. The soap slipped out of his hands and Lucas cursed as it hit the tub. He was far angrier than he should have been over dropping soap, but it was almost the icing on the cake. _**Anything that can go wrong, will. **_The thought pounded through his head.

Lucas thought about Nathan. He had to get better, he just did. Lucas believed that he would but there were always those lurking thoughts that he wouldn't. Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit him and he slide to the bottom of the tub. He brought his hands up to his face and buried his head in them. Roughly he ran his fingers through his hair, remembering what Haley had told him the day of the accident. _**  
**_

_Even with a blanket covering her, Haley was shivering. A Doctor had just gotten finished patching her up. She was not nearly as beat up as Nathan but the accident still got her pretty good. The hysteria that had overcome her a few hours earlier had now settled. Lucas sat down beside her and tried to comfort her. _

_"This can't be happening Lucas, not right now." Haley whimpered._

_"It's going to be okay Haley…"_

_"NO! Lucas you don't get it…" Haley shouted and stood up, "…it's not going to be okay." She turned to face him. "For once in your life will you stop acting like it's going to be okay. You don't have to put a show on for me."_

_Lucas faltered before answering, "You're right, I don't know. I just want to be here for you Haley…"_

_"I'm pregnant." Haley said just loud enough for Lucas to hear. _

_Neither of them spoke for a moment. The silence was unsettling and it made both Lucas and Haley sick. Haley sat down and Lucas began to pace. Soon enough he stopped and kneeled in front of Haley. _

_"When did you find out it ?"_

_"I...I took a test the other night…I haven't seen a doctor yet, so it's not official but…" Haley trailed off as Lucas watched on. "…I can't Lucas, not right now. I…we…this can't be happening right now." Haley sobbed. _

_**When darkness turns to light,  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight.**_

_There were no words Lucas could say that would make Haley feel better. She needed her husband; Lucas couldn't save her this time. He was beginning to wonder if he ever really had the ability to save anybody. It never crossed his mind to try to __**not**__ save anybody. Maybe that was the answer: to just be there for people and to not be their saviour._

Pregnant.

Haley was pregnant.

They hadn't spoken about it since that day and Lucas didn't think Haley wanted to. He knew she hadn't seen a doctor yet, Brooke confirmed that.

The once hot water started to fade and Lucas realized he had been in there for quite awhile. His hands were pruny and the feeling he got when he touched them together made him shiver. He never liked that feeling.

_**A falling star  
Least I fall alone.  
I can't explain what you can't explain.  
You're finding things that you didn't know  
I look at you with such disdain**_

Once out of the shower Lucas opted not to shave; not only did he not want to waste time doing it but he remembered Brooke said she liked it when he was "scruffy". He threw on some clothes, grabbed his wallet and sunglasses and headed for the door. He made a mental note to call his mom on the way over, to make sure everything was ok at the café.

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _

Lucas wanted to avoid it. To make whoever was knocking go away. With that in mind, he went and answered the door.

"Peyton?"

Lucas hadn't expected to see her and his reaction backed that feeling up. She looked just as awful as he did.

"Hey Luke…" Peyton greeted with as much enthuiasism as she could muster. "…Look, can we maybe talk for a minute?" She asked, pleading with her eyes.

_Don't be that guy Luke. You can't save her._

"I'm on my way to the hospital Peyton. But we can talk on my way out to the car."

Peyton accepted his offer. This conversation wouldn't take long anyway.

They headed for Lucas' car (Keith's car actually; the one he had saved so hard to buy) and Peyton immediately starting talking.

"So I know it doesn't make a huge difference now Luke, but, I am sorry for the way things have turned out." Peyton threw the apology out there just to let him know how sorry she truly was. "I've been doing a lot of thinking and I think…well with all that's going on I think it would be best if…I'm leaving Luke."

Lucas put his hands down on the roof of the car, shook his head and sighed.

"I'm going to stay with my dad. They're going to let me finish school away from here, so I'll still graduate…" Peyton smiled slightly, trying to lighten up the situation.

"So you're just going to run away, huh? Do you think that's just going to solve all your problems Peyton? Because it won't, they will follow you around." Lucas shouted.

Peyton stepped back a little. This was not what she expected out of Lucas. But she had to do this for herself; spend some time with her dad and figure shit out. She didn't go to Lucas to get his permission, just came to say goodbye.

"I know you're mad and I understand that Luke…"

"No Peyton, I don't think you do." Lucas interrupted.

Peyton stepped towards him and raised her voice, "Yeah Luke I do. I know I can't run away from my problems Lucas, that's not why I'm leaving. I'm leaving to figure things out and you out of all people should understand that. I know things are really fucked up right now, and there is nothing I can do about it Luke. Nothing." Peyton paused to catch her breath. "I just…well, I wanted you to know."

They stared at each other; the kind of stare that needs no words to accompany it. Peyton shrugged, mumbled an "ok" and started to walk away.

"You better tell Brooke, Peyton. I'm not doing your dirty work for you."

Peyton turned to face him, "I never asked you to. And I've already talked to her. I'm pretty sure she was thrilled." Peyton laughed a little. "See ya 'round Luke." With that she walked away.

"Yeah. See ya." Lucas mumbled .

Peyton got into her car and drove away. Lucas did the same and wondered how Brooke really took the news.

_**Now I'm on my own side  
It's better than being on your side  
It's my fault when you're blind  
It's better that I see it through your eyes**_

All these thoughts locked inside  
Now you're the first to know

**Xxxx**

_**So? Like it? Hate it? Please let me know, your guys' reviews are the best. Thanks!! **_


	6. Unfinished Thoughts

_I know I know…I'm awful and there is absolutely no excuse for me not updating sooner. But it is finally here!! I hope you like this chapter, I loved writing it. On with the show: _

**Ch.**** 6 Unfinished thoughts**

Brooke sat in the waiting room, staring at her unfinished Dr. Pepper. Suddenly, she didn't feel thirsty or hungry. Then again, she hadn't felt like eating for the past 8 or 9 days. It wasn't that she wasn't hungry, she's sure she was, but there was a pit in her stomach that made her unable to eat. Unable to sleep. Here it was again. Brooke supposed it had been lurking around all along; that it had never left.

On her way back to the waiting room, Brooke had run into Peyton again. Hugging Haley and saying goodbye. Something about the way they hugged and Peyton's demeanor made Brooke curious.

_Just as Brooke was about to slide by Peyton, Peyton slid in front of Brooke to stop her._

_"God, what is it now Peyton?" Brooke asked frustrated._

_Peyton looked at her once best friend and couldn't help but feel so far away. She knew she had caused Brooke more pain than she deserved, not that she deserved any. She knew that Brooke was always the better friend. Peyton had torn Brooke apart and, that, she deeply regretted. _

_"I know all the sorry's in the world won't cut it Brooke so I won't even go there…" Peyton exhaled, "…but please hear me out, for five seconds." _

_Brooke said nothing and Peyton took that as a cue to continue, "You have always been there for me. You have always been my best friend and how do I return the favor?" Peyton asked hypothetically. "I throw it back in your face and you never deserved that. What I did was wrong Brooke. It was selfish and a slap in your face. And I did it all after I promised that it would never happen again. Any self-doubt you have has certainly stemmed from me." _

_Tears fell from Peyton's face but her voice did not quiver, or falter. "I can't fix this Brooke. But maybe I can help ease it." _

_Brooke looked at her with curiosity. _

_"A while ago my dad told me that if I ever wanted to I could come out with him. Well, I think now might be a good time. He's out in Florida and we've worked it out with the school. I'm going to go out there and finish the school year up there, kind of like home-schooling." Peyton half smiled. _

_She waited to see if Brooke would respond; if she would have anything to say about the subject. But Brooke only stared at her with a surprised look on her face. _

_"I'm leaving tomorrow morning." Peyton finished. _

_Still no response from Brooke._

_"I just wanted you to know, you deserve that."_

That was it. No hugs or heartfelt goodbyes. At least not on Brooke's part. Peyton had cried and almost attempted to give the brunette a hug. Peyton told Brooke that she was going to stop by Lucas' house and say goodbye to him as well, unless she objected. Brooke couldn't even respond to that. But there in the waiting room, sitting alone, she wished she had. Peyton didn't deserve to see the man they both loved one last time. She didn't deserve to see his face, or his eyes, or catch a glimpse of his smile. Although, Brooke had her doubts that there would be any smiling on Lucas Scott's part. Lucas had not spoken to Peyton since the reception and he seemed angrier about the situation than Brooke did. Just then a dry eyed Haley walked in and sat next to Brooke.

"Hey tutor wife, how's tutor husband?" Brooke evoked another smile from Haley.

Haley pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her head on Brooke's shoulder. "He looks a lot better. We had a good talk."

Brooke was about to make a smartass comment about Haley talking to Nathan when he was in a coma but decided against it.

"That's good." Brooke replied.

"Ya know when Lucas was in the hospital I had talks with him all the time." Brooke started, "I would tell him how my day was and how the team sucked without him." Brooke smiled at the memory.

"Do you think he could hear you?" Haley asked barely above a whisper.

Brooke pondered for a moment, "I don't know but I like to think so."

"What else did you do Brooke? I feel like I'm running out of things to say."

Brooke looked over at Haley, causing her to sit up, "That's the great thing Hales, you can talk about anything. Whatever's on your mind. I never told anyone this but…" Brooke looked around, checking to see if anyone was listening, "…I use to read to Lucas." Brooke admitted.

"Really? What did you read him?"

"Steinbeck." Brook answered simply.

Haley nodded as her gaze was reverted behind Brooke.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Haley told Brooke and stood up, "Hey Luke."

Brooke bit her bottom lip and turned around. Sure enough there was Lucas, hugging a tired Haley. For a moment the two best friends just stood there, embraced in each other's arms while Lucas whispered something to Haley. Sometimes Lucas made it was too easy for Brooke to love him.

Eventually Lucas let Haley go and made his way over to Brooke.

"Hey pretty girl. Sorry I missed your call." Lucas apologized as he sat next to Brooke and gave her a small kiss.

"That's ok. Mmm… you smell good broody." Brooke commented as she snuggled up against Lucas.

"I thought I'd take a shower."

"That was very thoughtful of you boyfriend." Brooke smiled up at him and gave him a kiss.

Lucas stared at Brooke curiously. "You read to me?"

Brooke's face turned red as Lucas stared at her. "It's ok if you did. I think it's cute and very, very romantic." Lucas said as he tapped her nose with his finger.

"I never meant for anyone to know."

"Why?" Lucas asked.

"It's dumb. I mean who reads to someone who can't even hear them."

Lucas studied her for a moment. Her features were soft and her complexion, as always, was beautiful. He imagined her reading Steinbeck to him and saying, "What the hell? Why doesn't Ethan just get out of his stump? He really needs to get over himself. Or on top of someone else!" Lucas laughed to himself.

"See. Even you think it's dumb." Brooke said, thinking Lucas was laughing at her.

"That's not why I was laughing." Lucas told her and then immediately asked, "What did you read to me?"

For a moment Brooke didn't answer and Lucas was sure she wasn't going to.

"At first I started reading The Winter of Our Discontent…" Brooke's voiced finally filled the air, "but I ended up reading Of Mice and Men."

"Why?" Lucas inquired further.

"I remembered you quoting from it once and telling me that was another one I had to read. So…I did."

""A guy needs somebody to be near him. A guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody."" Lucas quoted, still staring at Brooke.

Brooke just nodded, a half smile formed on her face.

"Peyton stopped by." Lucas informed.

Brooke looked away, "I know."

Lucas mouthed an "oh". "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Haley's doing good, so that's good." Brooke said trying to change the subject.

"That's not what I meant Brooke." Lucas said and got Brooke to look at him.

"Well, what do you want from me Lucas?" Brooke asked a little agitated.

"It's got to have some effect on you. I just want to know how you're doing."

Brooke mumbled something and sat eerily still.

"What?" Lucas asked softly.

"I said, "How convenient for you.""

Lucas just sat there, wondering what to say. Because in way, she had a point. He reached over and put his hand on top of Brooke's; and to his surprise, she didn't pull away.

"Sorry." Brooke apologized.

"You don't have any reason to be sorry pretty girl. I'm sorry." Lucas pulled her hand closer.

"I just don't want to talk about…Peyton right now. Ok."

"Of course." Lucas responded.

Just then Haley walked up with three cans of soda in her hands. "I wasn't sure what to get, so I just got a variety.

Brooke forced a smile, "Thanks Hales. I think I'm gonna talk a walk though." She stood up and turned to Lucas, "I'll be back in a little bit."

"Do you want company?" Lucas asked, concerned.

"No, I just need some fresh air." Brooke bent down and gave Lucas a quick kiss before leaving.

"Is she ok?" Haley asked, sitting down next to Lucas.

"No, I don't think she is."

**xx-xx**

_Hope you all enjoyed! Please let me know…_


	7. We all need a break

_**Hello all readers (that is if there are any of you left)! I can't believe how long I've gone without an update on this story. Honestly, I was getting worried that my story was turning into nothing and I took a break from it but I've found my way and I'm ready to write again. So read on!**_

_**-whit**_

**Ch. 7 We all need a break**

The sunlight radiated in the sky as it began to set. Almost like it was saying goodnight; slowly and making sure to leave its mark. Brooke breathed in the scent of the night and thanked god it was the weekend. Dealing with another day of school was not an option. As Brooke made her way around the tree's and path's she realized how calm it was outside; it should never be calm outside a hospital. Wasn't that the definition of irony? Brooke shrugged and made her way over to a bench that she had made home the past week. Whenever she got a chance she would come out and sit on this bench; Brooke didn't know why she picked this bench out of all the benches but she had grown fond of the place it was in. It was perfectly situated outside between a few trees and across from the garden the hospital had grown.

Brooke sat down and leaned against the wood. With all that happened today Brooke had no idea how to take it all in. With Peyton leaving Brooke couldn't help but feel like a big part of herself was leaving with Peyton. And it seemed anything but fair.

--l—

With Haley and Deb in Nathan's room and Dan Scott walking towards him, Lucas knew he needed to get away. He stood up from his chair and headed for the door.

"Son." Dan's voice rang in Lucas' ears.

Lucas turned around swiftly and glared at Dan. "I am not your son so don't you dare call me that. Do us all a favor and stay the hell away from Nathan. You being here does not make you a good father." Lucas turned away again.

"Someone has to take care of the bills…son." Dan said but Lucas didn't turn around.

Brooke had been gone for awhile and Lucas desperately needed to be near her. He had no idea where she would be but he knew she wouldn't leave the hospital; that just meant Lucas would have to canvas the outside perimeter. As he walked around Lucas noticed how beautiful the outside of the hospital was and saw why Brooke would choose to come out her to clear her head. After a few minutes, Lucas caught saw of a figure slumped against a bench. The features and hair confirmed that it was Brooke.

"Hey pretty girl," Lucas said quietly as he got closer.

Brooke immediately shot up and wiped the tears away from her face. "Hey," she said back just as quietly.

Taking a seat next to her Lucas wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pushed some hair off her tear covered face. "What's wrong?"

But Brooke didn't respond, she just shut her eyes tightly; willing the tears that welled up inside to disappear.

For a moment Lucas didn't push the subject but he knew that letting this go and pretending Brooke was fine would only make everything worse.

"C'mon pretty girl…tell me. I'm here for you, don't shut me out now."

Brooke scoffed, "Says the boy who shuts down whenever something goes wrong," and the first few tears made their way down Brooke's face.

Lucas grasped at something to say, anything that would make Brooke understand that he was trying to change. As Brooke moved around on the bench Lucas could tell she was getting uncomfortable and therefore getting ready to leave him.

"You're right…" Lucas finally said, "…when it comes to tragedy's and tough moments I curl up. I know I've done that in the past and probably recently too but I really am trying to change Brooke. But I can't do that if you won't let me."

"I'm not stopping you Lucas…"

"Then you need to let me in. We need to talk baby, because right now we are walking around in a comatose state and we can't keep going on like this."

Brooke looked at Lucas as if a light bulb just went off. "You're right we can't go on like this."

This comment made Lucas worried and he stood up just as soon as Brooke did. "I'm still really angry and upset about the kiss Lucas and I've let you off the hook this past week. I laid it all out on Peyton and now she's gone…"

"You didn't make Peyton leave Brooke…" Lucas interrupted.

"Really? Because all week I've pushed her so hard I was hoping for a reaction like this and now that I got it I don't know what to do."

There was a pause and Lucas just waited for Brooke to continue; it was obvious she wanted to.

"This…" Brooke motioned between her and Lucas "…is not working right now and with all that's happening I can't deal with it."

"You can't deal with our relationship?" Lucas asked scared. "Brooke you can't give up on us right now…you just…can't." Lucas pleaded.

Brooke shook her head, "I didn't say I was giving up Lucas but our relationship is falling apart and right now I can't pick up the pieces. There are other things that are too important; it'll just have to wait."

"Too important…" Lucas mumbled to himself and then looked up at Brooke. "If we don't work on "us" Brooke we're just going to keep on falling apart."

"What do you want me to do Luke?" Brooke yelled as more tears made a path down her face. "I can't be everything for everybody. Something has to give Luke because I am fucking tired."

"Nobody's asking you to be anything Brooke…" Lucas said in a calming tone.

"If you really think that than you have no idea what's been going on the past few months." Brooke said and when Lucas gave her a confused look she continued, "I've had to be your cushion Luke…" Brooke pointed at him, "…when you fell and the arms that picked you back up. I've had to pretend that it didn't kill every part of me when you ran into that building after her. I've had to learn to deal with a girl who wants to bring me down and your constant defense of her," Brooke said referring to Rachel. "I have to make sure Haley doesn't lose it because her husband, her true love," Brooke choked out, "is lying in a hospital bed and has yet to wake up. I have to tell her that when she has the baby I'll be there for her one hundred percent. At the same time I have to be upbeat and promise her that Nathan will make it; that it's too soon for him to leave. My best-friend just walked out on me and I'm so torn apart that I can't decide if it's the best or worst thing that's ever happened to me. School's not over yet and I have to make sure I do just good enough to graduate. Your mom needs all the help she can get at the café and I'm the one who offered to be there whenever she needs me. Now you want the girlfriend who's ready to make your relationship with her better even after you broke her heart…again." Brooke stopped to catch her breath and Lucas didn't make a move. "I can't do that for you, not right now anyway."

Lucas had never been so scared about his relationship with Brooke than he was at that exact moment. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Brooke just shrugged, "No…" she answered uncertainly, "I don't want to break up with you Luke but honestly…" and Brooke paused with a deep breath before she continued, "…I don't think you deserve my effort right now. I think we should just put us on a back burner until everything else is figured out."

Lucas shook his head, "So I don't get it. Are you still my girlfriend? Can I hug you when I need to or tell you about my day?"

Brooke shrugged again, "I don't know Luke…yes. We can still talk to one another and be near each other but I think it's best if I stay with Haley right now and me and you spend less time together."

"Like a break?"

"I don't know Lucas…I guess."

Just then a splurge of sirens interrupted them. Even though it was deafening, Brooke felt more at ease. This was how the hospital was supposed to sound.

xx—xx

**So?? I know it wasn't a super long update but…what're ya gonna do? Anyway, if anyone is still reading please, please, please review. **


	8. If I stand still

_**I don't think there is much more to say other than….read-on! (Oh! Song & lyrics by **__**Snow Patrol**__**)**_

_**-whit**_

**Ch. 8 If I stand still**

_We'll do it all, everything, on our own_

_We don't need anything or anyone_

There's a place deep inside all of us that holds the strength and energy and courage to hold it all together; to stand up straight and look life right in the eyes and say "No matter what happens. I'll be ok. I'll be ok because I have the power; I have control". The consequence isn't all that appealing. It comes with responsibility and guilt. The guilt that whatever happens is because of yourself and the decisions you made. It's much easier to cower to life and give in to whatever happens and blame it all on fate. Things happen for a reason…bullshit. Things happen because we cause them or allow them to. Our actions and re-actions are the two ingredients in a very fucked up cycle. But that's how it works. The sooner we realize that and start stepping up to the plate the sooner we'll learn to smile more often and enjoy all that is available to us.

Haley James Scott liked to think that she had stepped up to the plate; but she also felt like she was about to strike out. And as she sat next to Nathan in a semi-comfortable chair with her feet propped up on a footrest Haley couldn't help but wonder if their game was almost over. Not _their_ game but _his: _Nathan's. Because no matter what happened to Nathan, Haley would have to continue playing and so would the child inside of her. Haley clasped her hand over her mouth as a steady stream of tears began to flow.

"Christ, Nathan…" Haley bellowed as she leaned on the bed and grabbed Nathan's hand, "…you cannot do this to me right now. Don't you understand that I need you Nathan? Not Cooper or your mom or your dad or the god damn team Nathan but ME! I need you." More tears caressed Haley's cheek and landed on Nathan's hand creating a puddle of sadness and fear.

_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me_

_And just forget the world_

"Why do you Scotts have to be such fucking hero's?"

As Haley cried in the dark corner of the room, Lucas watched from the door which was open and cascading a shred of light in from the hallway. Lucas was positive he had never heard Haley swear that many times before. Inside it brought a smile to Lucas but it was hard to convey that on his face; his face that was already drenched with too much sadness and fear and anger and hurt to hold anything else. Besides, it seemed to be the most inappropriate time to even think about smiling.

A quiet grunt came from behind Lucas and he turned around to come face to face with Dan.

"Son…" Dan said quietly.

With Dan spending as much time at the hospital as Haley, if not more, it was hard to avoid him. Every time Lucas tried to breathe he found Dan coming around the corner; attempting to comfort Deb or Haley and spending much of his time in Nathan's room. Somehow though everyone had found a way to co-exist with Dan and accept the fact that he wasn't going anywhere.

Lucas never gave much of a response other than a nod but that time Lucas didn't even get that far. Over Dan's shoulder Lucas could spy brown locks and a pair of Gucci sunglasses with eyes that barely peeked out of them. With a soft nudge, Lucas pushed Dan out of the way and walked towards the brunette. _Maybe it's the fact that she'll barely come near me, but she looks more gorgeous than the last time I saw her, _Lucas thought as a small smile crept on his face. _Then again, she always looks gorgeous. _

"Hey pretty…"

"Where's Haley?" Brooke interrupted. She wasn't mean about it but at the moment Brooke didn't know if she could hear Lucas call her that and not break down.

_I don't quite know how to say how I feel_

_Those three words are said too much_

_They're not enough_

Lucas' smile faltered and he nodded his head in the direction he had just come from.

"Thanks…" Brooke thought about saying more but was unsure of what to say. So with a small smile Brooke walked towards Nathan's room.

The truth was that the two had barely said two words to each other the last few days and neither was really to blame. Lucas made attempts and Brooke would always acknowledge him but never inquire for more. It's difficult to know what move to make when you can't really define your relationship. After hours and hours of learning to read Brooke like a book Lucas was at a crossroads. He knew Brooke would expect a fight but that she also needed space and that scared Lucas; because the difference between the two was a very, _very_ thin line.

As Brooke entered the room that had become more like a home Haley looked up and smiled; diverging the tears that still came out of her eyes.

"Oh my god…I didn't think you were ever going to get here." Haley bounded up and grabbed the sack Brooke was carrying. "I'm so sick of the shit they serve here. Thank you so much Brooke." With the bag of food in one hand, Haley opened her arms wide and leaped at Brooke.

"Ooof…" Brooke sputtered as Haley clasped her arms tight around Brooke. "Damn, that better be some mind blowing orgasmic food in there. I don't think I've ever seen you so excited about anything." Brooke commented as Haley pulled away.

Haley instantly blushed and swatted at Brooke's arm. A stifled laugh came from behind them and the girls turned slightly to see Lucas laughing.

"Whatever perv," Haley said and stuck out her tongue.

After a few small comments about how hungry she was, Haley dragged Brooke out of the room and into the waiting area. And just like a puppy dog Lucas watched them walk away; sad that he wasn't invited along.

--

"Ok bell me futs gowin bon bewfin…"

"Whoo Haley…" Brooke said with a laugh and her hands held out before her, "swallow first, and then ask questions it's much easier for me to understand you that way."

Haley rolled her eyes and finished eating her sandwich. Brooke wanted to bolt because she knew exactly what Haley was going to ask once she finished her sandwich and soup and Brooke didn't have any answers for any questions right now.

"Here you go son…"

Brooke lifted her head up to the faint sound and saw Dan in the doorway of Nathan's room handing Lucas a cup of coffee. And for a split second Brooke swore she saw Lucas' defined frown lift a little and turn into a grateful smile. Dan nodded his head and walked past Lucas into the room.

Remembering back to when Lucas was in the hospital Brooke couldn't remember a time when Dan had come to visit. And now Dan was at the hospital every waking second. The word _redemption _seemed fitting but not for Dan Scott; Dan Scott didn't deserve that word.

Brooke closed her eyes to yield off the tears that threatened to fall. She knew she wasn't being fair to Lucas but she was so lost; lost and _very _confused. And when Brooke opened her eyes she was met with soft blue ones that she had fallen in love with; that she was _still_ in love with. And just as he had done for Dan moments earlier, Lucas let his frown waver and a small smile crossed his face. But it was more than he gave for Dan. It was a smile that belonged exclusively to Brooke. As quickly as it came, it went and Lucas turned away and entered Nathan's room fully.

_Forget what we're told_

_Before we get too old_

_Show me a garden that's bursting into life_

"Ok, now tell me what's going on between you and Lucas." Haley demanded as she wiped away the last crumbs on her face.



As soon as Dan left, Lucas took the rare opportunity to talk to his brother. The first time Lucas talked to Nathan it felt weird but that feeling soon faded. Lucas had to remind himself that somewhere inside, Nathan could hear him.

"I'm not sure what to do. I give her space and every second I do I feel her slipping away. And I know that's my fault and I know I don't deserve her but I don't think I can live without her."

Lucas made sure to whisper, he didn't need Haley or Brooke overhearing him.

"I know I can't live without her. But every time I say 'Hi' or ask her how her day was and she answers with a shrug. Or when I attempt to say 'I love you' and she interrupts, I can feel a piece of me break. I know it's not fair to feel that way but I can't help it. I need her. And out of all people I need you to tell me what to do. Because I've never seen two people more in love than you and Haley."

A silent tear slipped out of Lucas' eye and he wiped it away harshly. There was no room to cry in here. No room for weakness.

"Yo…yo…u, ke…e….p, p…pp…ushing."

Lucas' head shot up at the sound of a faint, wheezing voice. Nathan's eyes were nothing more than small slits but Lucas could make out the beginning of them. And the tears Lucas fought so hard to hide appeared just as fast as they were wiped away. Grabbing onto Nathan's hand fiercely Lucas brought it up to his own face, if only to know it was real. A faint smile nearly crept onto Nathan's face and Lucas bolted up out of his seat.

--

"It's not that I don't miss him Haley because I miss him every second of every day but…" Brooke said quietly.

"I understand how tough it's been for you two and that…"

In the middle of what seemed to be a progressive talk between the two now best friends, they were interrupted by a voice. A voice that quivered with hope. The hope they had all held onto.

"HALES!" Lucas yelled down the corridor, "He's awake. Nathan's awake!"

_I need your grace_

_to remind me_

_to find my own_


End file.
